Thursday 2 August 2012

"You know it's always more fun when we split up."

"Ok my backstory is that my parents were killed and I was raised by Dwarves" (who apparently named him after the city they lived in, Wiggleton) "but the corrupt dwarf king's men killed my dwarf dad and then I picked up a bar of iron from my fathers forge killed the kings guard and that's how I kind of became the ultimate person, oh, and I slept with the kings daughter."

...

Teen1 - "Do I have to take a WIS test every time I take a drink? I don't really feel like my characters an alcoholic."
DM- "I'll give you and Teen2 50 XP each if you can persuade Teen3 that it's a good idea to get drunk right now. Teen3 I will give you 100 XP if you can persuade them to stay sober."

30 seconds later

Teen1 - "If you take a drink now, I won't kill you."

.....

Hold on! Do you think this monastery might be a very evil monastery?"

Two minutes after cutting the arms and legs off an undead monk in abandoned swamp-struck Hellmarsh monastery.

.....

After a five minute discussion of the accuracy of scholarship surrounding the life of Jesus, the relative loyalty of Lizardfolk to a six-foot lunatic wearing enamelled plate mail with the Crown of the Lizard King gilded to the helmet, the poor conditions in the swamp around Hellmarsh monastery and the negative impact of human hypocrisy on possible re-settlement of an occasionally man-eating race because "we eat cows and nobody says we're evil.'

"It doesnt matter what the actual Jesus looked like. The Lizard Jesus can be a totally different thing. I can be Lizard Jesus wearing enamelled Platemail."

.....

On the complaints of the relatively sane Teen3 when going through three separate doors in Hellmarsh Monastery with three separate characters.

"Come on, you know it's more fun when we split up."

12 comments:

  1. Enamalled Platemail Lizard Jesus sounds like one of the D-list bands that put posters up around my college campus.

    That would actually be interesting. Chaotic Good planar creatures with names like Neon Wolf Rave Hero or Third World Rhyme Vigilant that are all in extraplanar bands and are really mellow.

    A while back you talked about a strange event table you had and wouldn't mind sending out. Could I take a look at it? I like the risky-extra-spells idea, but I think the d100 table I have now might be a little too nice.

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  2. This should work

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YURXP1d4n5OMQZj_qFJAOd3B1YxZmaNaOyUMiUyVM8I/edit

    I hope, let me know if it doesnt

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  3. Worked perfectly. Thanks. Have your casters accumulated these effects? I rather like the idea of a magic-user getting progressively stranger as the game plays out.

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    1. They did for a bit. My last wizard died after one session so we don't currently have any magic users in the party. NathanRyders character still has that nightmare portal in his head.

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    2. My character had a small dog materialise in his stomach, and performed a caesarian to cut the dog free then cast "cure light wounds" to heal up before the dog clawed me to death.

      The nightmare portal had not lead to too many ill effects yet. I was always playing the numbers game with Patrick's Apocalypse World inspired spell-casting. You win some, you lose some...

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  4. "If you take a drink now, I won't kill you."

    I wish I could pick out which PC that was, but all I'm willing to say with any certainty is that it wasn't Wiggles.

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    Replies
    1. Definitely Adam, come on.

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    2. Well, it was my first thought, but it could also be the PC formerly known as Klaus von Scorn...

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    3. Despite my 05:19 comment I'm really not surprised... That's the lateral thinking of youth for you...

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  5. Go Hellmarsh! I liked that OPD, it had some character to it. Maybe the fence. I bolted it onto Dyson's Delve.

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    Replies
    1. I'm jamming it on top of 'The Heart of the Minotaur' though I may have hinted the twist too heavily.

      Teen3 - "Oooooh this is going to be one of those things where the monster is sectretly good"

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